Episode 8 Haiku:
Uncle Ben’s Rice plug
10 bucks at Whole Foods, er wut?
Pasta for the win
Episode 9 Haiku:
Richard wins again
Picks the bride, hubris perhaps?
Lisa makes ass cake
Photo courtesy Bravo TV
CC: 5 mins for that haiku to the window, Chef! Good God I am a funny bastard. Live haikus, made to order as you watch! Ok, now on to a more in-depth discussion of Episode 10. And please let’s not get behind again because I am running out of clever gimmicks.
MM: For the record, that was seriously awesome.
CC: Thanks! Ok, Quickfire Challenge with Salad and Sam.
MM: I thought it was a nice touch bringing back an old contestant that everyone knows and likes.
CC: Salad and Sam, this fall on FOX! He’s a diabetic chef, she’s a composed course of vegetables and dressings, but what in their past will lead them to the brink of disaster?
CC (continued): I always liked Sam, he was a good solid chef I thought.
MM: Agreed. He had a lot of respect overall from the other contestants as a strong chef.
CC: Yeah he was Season 2’s Harold I thought.
MM: The quickfire had interesting results, I think. Did you notice that some of the competition’s strongest chefs were in the bottom? Both Richard and Stephanie had the worst salads. So far they’re the strongest in terms of elimination wins.
CC: I thought Padma had a good point in calling it “this decade’s cobb or caesar”. It really set the stage for them to think of a salad that would endure, and I don’t think the bottom three thought about it in those terms. Although I think Spike cheesed out a win by using steak, but you cant argue with steak on a salad.
MM: Yeah, I agree. Richard was being a little too conceptual again and it didn’t work out.
CC: Yeah I don’t know what that was all about. He had squares of something in there but it was never really explained too well.
MM: Because I am just that cool, I pulled the recipe off of the Bravo TV website for you to take a look at. It sounds like something you’d eat.
Photo courtesy Bravo TV
Fresh and Clean Salad – Ceviche of Fruits & Vegetables
1 yellow beet, diced
1 red beet, diced
Salt to taste
Drizzle of vinegar
A few drops honey
A few iris leaves (petals) pulled
A tiny bit ginger
2 limes, juiced
A few drops yuzu
A few drops truffle oil
1/2 cup extra virgin olive oil
Fruits & Vegetables:
1 avocado, sliced
1/4 cantaloupe, diced
1/4 jicama, diced
1 ripe pear, sliced
A handful assorted greens
Cook beets separately, then dress with salt, vinegar and honey.
Mix ingredients to make dressing.
Fruits & Vegetables:
Marinate fruits and vegetables in dressing. Then let salad to plate with beets.
MM (continued): Anyway, I would have liked to have heard more about that salad, but they only have a few seconds to talk about a handful of them. In the end, K-Fed #2 wins with his steak salad and, instead of immunity, he wins an advantage. Like the complete and utter retard we’ve known him to be, he does not fail to disappoint in his way of using the advantage, well, to his advantage.
CC: More importantly, he used it to create a disadvantage to everyone else. I think those are two very different things. The ingredients he picked, bread, lettuce, tomatoes and chicken, were chosen solely to limit everyone else’s options. He wasn’t even thinking about his own dish at that point. Then he comes up with… chicken salad!
MM: Not just chicken salad, it was a fruited salad with olives. That’s disgusting.
CC: Yeah, that makes no sense. Then some carrot sticks and celery, a masterstroke – and he had bread, all the bread in the world, and he threw some pita bread in there.
MM: I kept wondering why the other chefs didn’t think to use a wrap since they couldn’t use bread, but I suppose they wanted to stay away from sandwiches, unlike Doofus (Spike).
CC: He has more originality in his hat choices than in that dish.
MM: I’m guessing there comes a time in everyone’s life when they wake up and say, “How can I look like a doofus today?”
CC: Ok, time to talk about Burnergate 2008.
MM: Ok. Let’s talk. First of all, is there ANYTHING Lisa doesn’t complain about? Can she NOT shut her yap for five minutes? It’s always someone else’s fault. Gotta say that I’m on the same page as Dale – with all those people in the kitchen and with all that stuff going on, it was probably a mistake. Heck, it was probably even her that did it.
CC: Yeah, I mean who hasn’t turned the back burner on instead of the front one, or set it to high instead of low and put a dry pan on there and started a kitchen fire…
MM: Um, me…
CC: That all being said, I have ZERO problem with her bringing up the fact that Andrew broke the rules. That should have been brought up at Judges table, and if it wasn’t, and she wasn’t aware that THEY were aware of the rule violation, she was certainly in her rights to bring it to their attention. In the same sense that Lisa should stand behind her dish and take responsibility for it, Andrew needed to take responsibility for the fact that he screwed up. And that’s all I have to say about THAT. Harumph.
MM: I don’t think Andrew had a problem owning up to it, but I do have a problem with her bringing it up. It was her way of saying, “Yes, I sucked – but he sucked more so here’s a diversionary tactic to get the heat off of me.”
CC: He totally blew it off. “Oh gee I guess I missed that part in the rules.” He did that about the satisfying aspect and the grain aspect.
MM: Wouldn’t you? You’re on the chopping block – I’d say that I made a mistake. He said that he lost the rule sheet early on.
CC: Well I think she was saying, “I sucked, but he sucked AND can’t follow directions.”
MM: I still think she was a huge bitch by bringing it up.
CC: Well I agree with that statement up until the word “by”.
MM: *laughs* Okay, you have a point. She’s a bitch, AND she brought it up – I don’t like the way she brought it up, but that’s me.
CC: Yeah, I don’t disagree with that too much. But I think she had the right to bring it up, and it wasn’t any kind of underhanded tactic.
MM: why do you think she had the right to bring it up?
CC: It was a little whiney, but Lisa can’t order breakfast without sounding whiney.
MM: She definitely did have the right, but was it sportsmanlike? No, it was weasel-like.
CC: Because he broke the rules! Actually I totally disagree with that statement.
MM: Do you think Andrew did it intentionally? I get the feeling that he was trying to be so cool and clever (read: arrogant) with his rice substitution that he made a mistake. Then he was trying to defend it, in his usual horrible way. As an aside, at the time of this post, a poll on Bravo’s website reflects 60% of viewers felt Lisa shouldn’t have said anything.
CC: It is not sportsmanlike to let someone cheat.
MM: I don’t think he was intentionally cheating, I think his arrogance got the best of him.
CC: Oh yeah I agree. I think it was an honest mistake, but it WAS a mistake. Cheating is too strong a word in this case I think. I am anxiously awaiting both Spike and Lisa’s departure. And Dale maybe.
MM: I think Dale’s a jerk, but he’s got a bit of talent. We haven’t seen the last of him.
CC: Yeah if he can control his temper and his anti-social streak he might go a long way.
MM: The only group challenge he does well in are the ones where he’s paired up with Richard. So who’s talent is it that is getting the wins then? I think we both know the answer.
CC: Richard, Antonia and Steph are the clear-cut faves though I think.
MM: You know, I hate Antonia. Hate.
CC: There’s alot of hate going on in this post.
MM: She’s really irritated me with every “interpretive” challenge given. I know I say this in every review, but she can’t do it. Every challenge that she’s supposed to take a word or theme and create a dish around the theme she can’t do it. Not that she can’t – I am sure she can, but she doesn’t. That bugs me.
CC: Richard’ s going to win, we all know this. Embrace the fauxhawk.
MM: Yes, we know, and if he doesn’t, it will be a complete upset! I think if, in the end, we have Dale and Richard going head to head that would be quite a battle.
CC: I don’t know if I see Dale going that far. If he gets out of his Asian-influence comfort zone, he could be in trouble. Gaining an advantage, and intent, neither of which were evident here.
MM: Yeah, but Ilan (from a previous season) had the same problem and he won. The only other contestants I can imagine getting to the finals are Antonia and Stephanie. You know what I think about Antonia, and Stephanie is way too up and down. Once her dish starts to go a little wrong, it steers out of control like a train wreck. I like her, but she’s got nothin’ on Richard.
CC: I am anxiously awaiting both Spike and Lisa’s departure. And Dale maybe. And on that note…. next week we will be on time-ish! For almost surely! Otherwise we’ll be behind again. Which I guess is another option.
MM: To wrap up Episode 10, KFed #1 finally goes home and Richard wins.
CC: From your lips to God’s ear!
MM: Who is your guess for next week’s chef going home?
CC: Restaurant wars. I’m going out on a limb and say Dale.
MM: Wow. I’m saying Spike again, because I want to keep up the bad karma I’ve been sending his way.
CC: Because he takes a paring knife to Lisa and gets removed from the show.
MM: Now that’s good American television right there.